"It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon…"
Does that adage really hold true in drinking culture? As the pace car can be fueled by either continuous shots of Jager bombs or a session of pints of ale, the speed of the race is arguable. But the heart of the act never wavers — it’s all in the “spirit” of competition.
But should we really be competing while drinking? How many of us have had a buddy threaten to “drink us under the table”? But then when he got a good first swig of The Big Fellow and made a screwface, you knew you had him on the ropes in the first round? Has anyone ever told you, upon your late arrival to a function, that you had to “catch up” to everyone else? Like you can’t start the Chicago Marathon two hours late or something??
What about all the drinking games out there — beer pong, spoons, questions? What drives us to pair drinking with these competitions, the glory of the race or the wonder of the spirits? Since I’ve never seen or heard of a game of Scotch Pong, or seen craft beers or Trappist ales used in beer boot drinking competitions, I’d have to side for the want to show up our main damies.
Although the “Macho Man” rages to be released while drinking, find a way to soothe your beer muscles for a bit. Taking a drink with a friend should be a smooth and calming situation, full of good spirit and even better spirits. Leave the competition to the bar fights — but only after you’ve been sipping some vintage Fine Champagne cognac while debating the glory of the ugni blanc with a cognac ambassador that will surely give you the upper hand in that contest.